i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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