I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
