This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
We are two peas in an std pod
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
