3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
