I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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