She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
