There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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