My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
