your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I think a kid would responsible me up
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Randomize
