im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
