It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
They took my balls.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
my poor anus
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
