You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize