Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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