I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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