All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
