People with herpes should wear stickers.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
