at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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