I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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