I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
