i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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