don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
