In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
