i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
