I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
it's not cheating when I paid for it
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
