Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
