You really coming over, don't trick.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
