I like to think it a success when the cops are called
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
