who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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