You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
