i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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