doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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