Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize