dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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