Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
