Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
