thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Randomize
