For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Someone shattered a urinal.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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