Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
