there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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