what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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