She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
