Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
