I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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