Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
