I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
