I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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