He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
