And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
