I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
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