Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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