Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
