Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I just gargled with NyQuil
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
