dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Randomize
