I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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