My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Just invented taco cereal.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Is her dick bigger than yours?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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