i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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