I hate your face
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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