belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
why do cheetos always look like penises
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
