Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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