I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
